Friday, June 22, 2012

Success tips to communicate with teens

Success tips to communicate with teens
Adolescent problems.
Many parents have complained, had difficulty communicating with his teenage son, why? Whereas before, everything is going well. But once children reach the age of adolescence, the conflict, "brag" or the frequent discrepancies between adolescents and parents. Parents do not understand, why it happened, who is wrong?.
Why be a difficult adolescent behavior?. Adolescence is the transitional period or periods in human life that has some of the changes that occur simultaneously. Inability teens cope with the conditions of pressing for change, often resulting in disturbances in behavior. Changes that occur in young children, including changes in: physical, cognitive, social, and emotional.
Physical changes occur as a result of cooking the hormone testosterone in men and estrogen in women. Adolescent girls with menstrual marked the first time (menarche) and the teenage boy with a wet dream (pollutio) maturity of these hormones affect the maturation of reproductive organs and development of secondary sex characteristics.
Cognitive development of adolescents reach the formal operational stage that allows adolescents to think abstractly and complex, so that teenagers can make decisions for themselves.
Social development, indicated a strong desire in adolescents to disengage from ties with family and more involved with their peers. This is done in an attempt to find juvenile identity, a social role as a private independent adults.
Emotional development, characterized by unstable emotions and tumultuous. Emotional changes are closely related to the maturity of hormones that occur in adolescents.
From the little description above can be understood that the developmental changes that occur in adolescents, often resulting in adolescents experiencing distress (stress). The ability of adolescents to overcome the problems, so that no stress is determined by how much support from family, especially his parents. The greater support in overcoming various diperoelh teenage problem, the lower the likelihood that adolescents experience stress in their behavior to avoid interference. How communication with adolescents, to be effective and harmonious, so that it can help the process of personal development towards maturity.Communication with adolescents

            
Communication, both verbal and nonverbal basically is one important aspect in the education of children, are also sources of stimulation to form the personality of the child. If communication between parents and children can run well, then each party can give and receive information, feelings and opinions so as to know what they want, and The conflict can be avoided. Openness through this communication that will cultivate the child can be accepted and respected as human beings. Conversely, if no communication is better then most likely experiencing barriers to mental health conditions. From the research evidence of the tendency of psychopathology in children, due to a bottleneck in the communication process between the child's parents, especially her mother.

            
In the process of personality development of children, parents also play a role as an educator is responsible for instilling moral values ​​and life will be a strong foundation for the growth of the soul and the individual child. Family is a vehicle for children to draw a variety of science. Through parenting parents recognize moral values, good practice and to know that bad before he developed the social interaction outside the family. The success of parents in developing moral values ​​is not caused by his authority, but rather on how to communicate these values ​​are adjusted to the level of intellectual development. In fact many parents who are less able to communicate with their children, especially with teens. Why?. Many parents are unaware that a response (verbal or nonverbal) in response to his son, led to communication apprehension.
The response is often expressed in his parents that caused interruption of communication, such as: rule; threat-warning; urgent-giving sermons; advise, solve the problem; a lecture-taught; judge, criticize, disagree-blame; mocking-making shame; investigate, prosecute; avoidance-distraction-laugh, and praise agree;
The above expressions make the kids: stop pembicaraaan; defend themselves; attack, arguing; feel inferior; hate and anger; feel guilty; feel treated like a child; was not understood; feel her feelings are not justified; was being interrogated. It was all of these criteria often do the parents in his authority as one who must be obeyed.
How should? In order for an uninterrupted communication with the child's parents it is important to understand how to communicate effectively, among others:
A. Opened the door, the expression of the parents who allow children to talk more, encourage children to come and pour out his heart. And an important growth in children a sense of welcome and appreciated. Some of the statements that are open include: "I understand .. "Yeah .. hm .. "Oh yes .." Tell me more .. "mother koq interested ya .." Looks like you seneng ya ..
2. Active Listening, the ability of parents to accurately describe the child's feelings, so parents understand the child's feelings, who shipped the child through verbal and nonverbal language. The advantage of active listening, among other things: encourage katarasis; help children not afraid of feelings (positive-negative); develop great relationships with parents; facilitate the child solve the problem; improve children's ability to hear the opinion of the parents; increase the responsibility of children
3. Communication with empathic, empathetic communication principle: "Trying to understand first, a new understanding". In empathic listening, we as parents try to get into the frame of mind, feelings of our teenagers. We as parents, not just heard by the ears, but with the eyes and hearts. Our hearts feel, understand, explore and intuitive with the problems being experienced by our teenagers. Our eyes observe nonverbal messages expressed by our children. We use the left brain right brain simultaneously. Hearing is empathic listening to understand both emotionally as well as intellectually, not with the intent to reply, to control or manipulate others.
It is not easy to be able to establish positive communication with our teenagers who are experiencing many upheavals in her. But it does not mean it can not. Comprehension and understanding we as parents of the difficulties being experienced by our young children, is very important. Teenagers we need understanding from his parents that he is experiencing this process will support the establishment perubahan.Sikap positive communication with our teenagers.